Kristin ruins The Hills

Kristin Cavilleri, a poor replacement for Lauren if you ask me, officially announced that she'd be joining The Hills to EW. And she reveals that it was her who set up Heidi and Spencer originally! Even more of an idiot than I thought she was!

"It was 4 years ago. I was dating Brody [Jenner] and Spencer was Brody’s best friend. I had known Heidi when she was friends with Lauren when we were still filming Laguna Beach. Heidi was like, ‘Hook me up with someone. I wanna meet a guy.’ And Brody and I were kinda like, ‘Well, maybe Spencer?’ We’ll see what happens.’ So we all went on a double date and they just hit it off right away and now they’re married."

So that's who we have to blame for the monstrosity that is Speidi.

Also, what's with Kristin speaking openly about "acting" on The Hills and how it's all a setup? Excuse me, but I like to live in fantasy land, comfortable in the knowledge that The Hills is a reality show, so all the drama that happens is real. I've ignored everyone in the past who suggests otherwise, but I can't ignore this: "it’s a TV show and they need to make it entertaining." and "It’s a TV show. I’m not going into it like, ‘I’m going to make great friendships with these people.’ It’s work! And drama sells."

So went her interview with EW. I'm not sure I'm going to be obsessing about The Hills anymore.

Hot right now: The Bustier

Once again, Rihanna triumphs in the style department. This is like, the ultimate casual outfit because she looks dressed down but super hot at the same time. Not an easy feat ladies. How can you pull it off?

What you have:
- the loose cardi, preferably in a thick rib and short. We have one of these on sale right now by Natasha, coincidentally, at 70% off retail.
- the cargo pants: these are a perennial and no matter the colour, will work as long as they sit loose and low on the hip.

What you need:
- A bustier! The light colour gives Rihanna's outfit a fresh, casual feel, so keep this in mind when purchasing. Bustiers in a darker colour are much more dressy and probably won't look as cool.

Should you wear heels with denim shorts?

Here's Nicky Hilton, shopping LA. Casually decked out with a pair of screaming hot shoes, is it a look we can copy?

I always check out celebs wearing heels with denim shorts and love it. Their legs look longer, thinner, and great shoes have a fabulous knack of turning an ordinary pair of cut offs and a singlet into an outfit. You know?

But whenever I pop on my highest heels with my shortest denims, I look ... wrong. Overdone. Try hard.

Honestly, what kind of glamourous life are you leading when heels + denim shorts are acceptable wear for a daytime trip to Westfield? My shopping trips are purposely accompanied by either thongs, ballet flats or trainers. How are you supposed to make shopping worth it when you know your feet are going to end up aching and make the entire experience unbearable?

Nicky probably doesn't have any such concerns. In LA, you drive everywhere. There is no shopping strip, very few big shopping centres, she simply drives her car up to valet and pays for the pleasure of being looked after. Valet is everywhere in LA, it's like McDonalds.

Seeing as we a) don't live in LA, b) aren't an heiress to the Hilton fortune and c) don't have valet, I've come to the disappointing conclusion that you should only wear heels with frayed denim shorts out at night. Prolific daytime use just doesn't fit into our lifestyle.

Brooke Hogan and friend Rachel Spike at Brooke's 21st

Does this not sum up your idea of typical California girls? This is what I'm talking about when I blog about stereotypical LA style, ie. there is no style. It's pretty much, I'm going to dye my hair as blonde as I can, grow it as long as I can, and then wear a tight dress in a bright colour. It's my 21st birthday party so I get to choose which dress and which colour first, you can have the leftovers, because we're best friends.

I can't tell you how much I think women who dress like this aren't doing themselves any favours. They've basically modelled their entire look on Malibu Barbie. Who, I'm not sure if you're aware, is a doll.

They're also dressing for men, which I don't think we do in Australia. Here, we dress in what looks good and what makes us feel good, as women. In fact I think we dress more for women than we do for men, which is bloody unreal. I'm so happy we don't feel the need to get around in tight, bright lycra in order to attract attention. It doesn't look good. It looks like they're stuck in a style rut and haven't paid any attention to fashion at all. I bet they're worn a variation of these dresses every weekend for the past three years. Bo-ring.

Fashion is about having fun, taking risks, dressing up and stepping into a new persona each time you leave the house. Try, I implore you, not to model that persona on Malibu Barbie.

Four reasons to watch Star Trek. Chris Pane (second from left) is my favourite. HOT HOT HOT.

When accessories ATTACK

"Help!"

"Uh, do you hear something Mrs Mangel?"

"It's me! Spencer it's me! I'm in here!'

"Heidi? Where are you?"

"I'm in the bag!"

"You're in the bag?"

"It swallowed me whole, like I was a beetle. Like I was a grub. Like I didn't matter at all!"

"Here Heidi, gimme your hand. We'll show that bag who's boss."

Heidi and Spencer Pratt ... with an unsuspecting lady they accosted to take yet another photo for the paps. Oh, and the bag that Heidi may end up living in when Spencer kicks her out for a Playboy Bunny.

Chloe's jumpsuit + blazer = cool cool

Sometimes I'd like to have the nerve to dress like Chloe Sevigny. But I just don't think I could get away with a vagina skimming jumpsuit at my next shindig, you know? Not sure how my friends would take it.

This outfit is beyond cool. It's transcended into a realm mere mortals can't even visit. Those that can? Chloe now, of course, along with Kate Moss, Helena Christensen, Alexa Chung, Erin Wasson, Daisy Lowe. It's that, "I'm so smoking hot, I can throw on whatever I like and it's stylish". And somehow, it is!

What can we, mere mortals, learn from this fashion Queen Bee? The blazer will come into its own when paired with something mini. Had Chloe worn this jumpsuit with a bomber jacket or a faux fur, it might have cheapened it. Instead, she's all class. A real feat when you're concerned about your butt sneaking out of your shorts. The other major trend is navy. Grey might be the new black but navy is the cool girl's staple.

What Kendra Did Next

It hurts me to say this, but you probably already know ... Kendra is getting her own show on television. Yes, Kendra, formerly girlfriend of Hugh Hefner and one of the old Chosen Three of the Playboy mansion, is now deemed to be so entertaining that she warrants her own program.

Gosh, what do you think it's going to be about?

I've got two thoughts:

1. A plastic surgery show where Kendra shows us how fake breasts can actually get you things. This is an extension of the theme on Girls of the Playboy Mansion - the episode where she was buying her own place and she grabbed her bosoms and said "thank you thank you thank you". They'd obviously bought her the house, you see. So the show would be about what fake breasts can do for the regular person. Fill out a bra, get unwanted attention, have people talking about you condescendingly on blogs like this.

2. How to have sex with an old man and get what you want in life - like a house (see above). This show would go over the basic tricks of how to score a man from the the Forbes Rich List, rather useful information really, and could perhaps profile women who've been successful in the past (like Melania Trump) and not so successful (Anna Nicole).

But enough guessing, what's the show actually about? Well, disappointingly, they haven't been clever or done anything that will help us be fabulous like Kendra I'm afraid. Nope.

The show is just about her. She's going to the mall. She's looking after her dog. She's having lunch with a friend. Riveting.

Anyway, back to what this blog is about ... her style. The weird thing about this top is that it seems to be all about framing those breasts, which, as we now know, she loves and is grateful for. If that was the case, then I probably wouldn't put them in a murky purple and then encase them with mesh. It seems a bit harsh, doesn't it? I'd treat them lovingly in a nice warm colour and keep all harsh metals away. Can I also just say that she's looking a little weathered for someone in her 20's? Maybe being Kendra takes a bit of work after all.

Move over Suri and Shiloh ...

This is what happens when you cross an Oscar-winning superstar who's been on the Most Beautiful People list numerous times, with a male supermodel.



Holy guacamole.

Halle Berry's daughter Nahla Ariela (who she had with the incredibly good looking Gabriel Aubry, below) is destined to take over Shiloh and Suri's reign of Hollywood. Look at that skin! The hair! The eyes! Bless.

Keira Knightley needs a hair-over

I'm not sure what planet Keira Knightley's living on, are you? Perhaps it's called Hair in Face to Hide Big Jaw Planet. Or maybe Dowdy Nanna Planet. Possibly even, I'm Not Sure Why My Hair Is This Dark And Hanging Like A Dense, Lank Curtain Planet.

Whichever it is, Keira's hair is Bad. Bad with a capital B. Bad like Michael Jackson's song Bad. Bad like getting caught in the rain on the way to a date Bad. Bad like finding a worm in your apple Bad. She's embracing hair that does absolutely nothing for her.

I'd excuse Keira if, like the rest of us, she had to do her own hair. In fact, this would probably be a good hair day for me. But here's the thing. She doesn't have to do her own hair. She's a celebrity. She has a team of people to do her hair for her. That's the weird thing - she actually asked for this style. Out of all the fabulous do's she could have had in the world, this is what she chose. And she seems to love it, she's been sporting it for a while now.

I had to say something. Keira, if you're reading this, leave the planet darling. Get on a spaceship and fly as far as you can until you hit Planet Earth. That's where we are.

Who's the boob?

So I was on Kerrie Anne this morning, talking about the functionality of bras and how 80% of women in Australia are wearing the wrong sized bra, plus how 40% of Australians are now over a D cup. You know, the regular intelligent conversation.

Will post you the clip when ninemsn gets savvy enough to put it on there :)

Why you should never stand next to a supermodel, even if you're hot

Jessica Stam: Who is this girl?

Jessica Szohr: Uh, hi, someone told me to stand here. Apparently we have the same first name.

Jessica Stam: This is not funny, have you see how short she is? I don't know what to do with short people.

Jessica Szohr: I'm on this show called Gossip Girl, it's kind of a big hit. Anyway, someone told me to stand here.

Jessica Stam: Doesn't she know this is the Costume Institute Gala where the theme is "Models as Muse". I'm a model, I belong here. She is too short to be here.

Jessica Szohr: So did you like, come with someone, cause I can't find my boyfriend and I may do this for a while.

Jessica Stam: Marc Jacobs named a bag after me for fuck's sake! There is a Stam bag out there! Nobody knows who this person is and she's wearing too much concealer, I can't take it!

Jessica Szohr: If you could just hold still for another half an hour, I'm sure he'll be back. His name's Ed, he plays Chuck on the show. But he's nothing like his character. He'll be here any second, I'm sure of it.

Jessica Stam: God, even the waiters behind us can't look at us. Get. Her. Away. From. Me.

Just what the world needs, a giant Victoria Beckham

I know I brought you these Armani underwear ads months ago, but the launch for the campaign happened only this week.

And I must say, how freaky would it be to stand next to a giant picture of yourself in underwear? That would totally weird me out! I'm sure Victoria Beckham though, absolutely loves it. Goes perfectly with her megalomaniac personality, don't you think?

French actress takes a hit

I'm a little divided by Camilla Bell's outfit. On the one hand, that dress is quite fabulous. Made from a gorgeous shimmery black/green it reminds me of what a dragon's skin would be like (you know, if I'd like, ever seen a dragon). The top drapes in a flattering way and blends perfectly into the fun feathered skirt. And besides all the dragon-eating-bird-jokes I'm thinking of right now, I really truly love it.

On the other hand, she's wearing it with black shiny tights and this takes it into roller disco territory. Seriously, can't you see her zooming around the rink in this outfit?

So let's just say the dress would have looked a lot better without the tights - they're taking the 80's trend too way too far and have tipped poor Camilla into the fancy dress category when all she wanted to be seen as was stylish. Still, when you're this gorgeous, you can pretty much get away with anything, right?

The cool gang

I'm all for self-expression. Hell, the more incredibly creative and beam-me-out-there you are with your style the better. And Taylor Swift is lovely, isn't she? A teenage singer who's actually talented, writes her own material and isn't a manufactured pop star. Sweet.

It pains me then, when I see her wearing something like this. At first glance you think
oh cool, Tay's branching out, but then you look at her and, well, it just reeks of trying-too-hard. doesn't it? A peek inside her head before she left the house this morning:

"So I'm trying to be cool, so what? I'm not part of the cool gang. Maybe if I tie this ribbon around my head Lindsay Lohan will speak to me. I saw Lauren Conrad wear it on The Hills and it seemed to make her popular. And everyone's got a plaid shirt these days. I'm wearing it like Nicole Richie, over skinny jeans. And I know! I know! I'll add my own spin with the belt and matching leather cuffs! I saw Jessica Simpson wearing something like this in her early days and she's like, my hero. The shoes are great, aren't they? They add colour. Yep, maybe even Mary Kate will think I'm cool."

Oh how hard it must be to try and fit in with that crew. Being 19 and a normal girl is hard enough, but trying to cultivate a great image and be seen as fashionable when all you really know how to do is sing would be even harder.

My first instinct is to grab that belt and throw it as far away from Taylor as I possibly can. Into an oncoming semi-trailer who hopefully will steam right over it and break the buckle forever. Then fling those leather cuffs after it, and steal her shoes. Go barefoot honey, trust me, it's better than these.

There. Saved you. So what if you step on glass? You've got to suffer for fashion, remember. Next? Don't try and be "trendy". Stick to what you know, the singing thing. Your style will come when you get older. And when you have more designer clothes thrown at you.

Jennifer Aniston's monochrome winner

STOP PRESS! STOP!

Here, we have Jennifer Aniston, WHO HAS FINALLY LEARNED how to dress in her boring old neutrals, but STILL LOOK HOT! Geez Jen, it only took you 40 years. Congratulations.

What she's done right:

1. Head to toe grey.
Wearing one colour from top to bottom really works to elongate a petite frame (Jen is 5"4), so big tick for this. Especially for choosing grey shoes in suede - regular or patent leather wouldn't have blended so well.

2. The body con mini dress
The girl has a body. Let's face it, it's her best feature and if we're to believe John Mayer, she works extremely hard to keep it looking fabulous. So good on her for finally showing it off!

3. The simple clutch, no jewellery
An all-over grey outfit so magnificent in its simplicity would have been ruined with anything but this simple black clutch.

I never thought I'd say this, but 10 fashion points to Jen this week. Did she hire a new stylist?

Who's that girl?

So I didn't even notice Lindsay. OK I lie, of course I did. But who got my attention first? The fresh faced girl with the ponytail. Her outfit rocks. It's Ali Lohan, can you believe!

Maybe she's been paying attention to all the criticism about wearing too much make up and following too fast in her sister's skanky footsteps (for the record, I am all for Lindsay making a record-breaking comeback and really reallly hope she snaps out of the skank phase).

That said, her sister is kicking ass. A striped sequin midriff (note to Mischa, THIS is how to wear a midriff) with skinny dark jeans and white Minnie Mouse shoes is a killer outfit for a teenager. And she hasn't ruined it with an abundance of hair and make-up. Barely there nude skin, a clean ponytail and all of a sudden we can see how gorgeous she is. So pretty!

Go forth Ali, conquer! And prove all your critics wrong.

THIS is how to wear thigh high boots

A day after her big shoulder tux at the Costume Institute Gala, Rihanna shows us once again why she can do whatever the f%#@ she wants. This is such a cool outfit, I don't even know where to start. Wonder if Ruby Rose will copy this too. I would if I were her, she can so get away with it.

So can you if you're a) under 25 b) spend weekends with your head in market bins c) have thighs that could crack a walnut.

Note to Madonna: THIS is how you wear thigh high boots, not the too-big, too-many-bows boots that you wore to the Costume Insititute Gala. They may have looked great on a 6" supermodel, not a 5"4 50-year-old pop queen.

If you feel like you can't get away with it, another great, Recessionista way to copy this look is to rip a pair of opaque tights until they're holy all over. Wear under denim shorts and with your fave hoodie. Et voila! Rihanna's look on a recessionista's budget.

Costume Institute Gala Best & Worst dressed Round 2

Most likely to do what the F she wants: Rihanna


Now, I love Rihanna, especially how she experiments and doesn't give a flying f#$% what other people think. She can do what she wants - she's the most talented 19-year-old on the planet who was chosen above all other artists to perform at this year's homage to fashion event. And this is her big comeback after all - she hasn't been to a big do since her fight with Chris Brown.
Still, if I was her, I maybe would've thought twice about this one ... I mean, there are Balmain shoulders, and then there are Balmain shoulders. These, clearly, are the latter. I do love how she pull it off with all the confidence in the world. It's like, "of course I'm wearing an oversized shiny tuxedo jacket that could belong to the Hunchback of Notre Dame and pants that are slightly too short. No, they're not Mary Kate's. Yes, I've got stretchy satin gloves on to match. Wouldn't you? Look at my slightly demure face and my submissive stance, doesn't that make up for my fierce shoulders?" Of course it does dear.

Most likely to be able to pull off Drama with a capital D: Kate Moss



Oh she's back! She's back! After a few worrying months in boring-drab-land, Kate cherry bombs with triple bonus points in this inspiring combo. It's all yummy nude fabric draped deliciously over her new curves and the piece de resistance? The head-wrap, of course. Prada tried to bring these in a few seasons back and it didn't really take but I bet Top Shop will be doing copies of this for their stores tomorrow. Her cheekbones and eyemakeup help of course, as does her Marc Jacobs handbag.


Best use of a doona cover: Anne Hathaway
I guess I can't complain. I encouraged her. I told her she was the Most Boring Person in the Universe. I went on and on and on about it. So she came out with this. And it's certainly not boring, is it. Rather the opposite. It's ... interesting. Unfortunately, dressing like the antonym of Boring isn't the key. The key is Stylish. Look that up darl. This pic won't be there.
You know, if Madonna got tired like the nanna she is, at the end of the night she could just lie Anne down and use her as a pillow.
Don't worry Anne, at least we've stopped yawning when you walk the red carpet.


Most likely to avoid Medusa next time: Tyra Banks
Don't laugh, it's not her fault. Tyra pulled a funny face and the wind changed and now her face is stuck! Like this! Forever! What's she going to do on Next Top Model? How will she show the models how to pull different faces for the camera? Her career is over. Over I tell you!
Not least because she thought she could pull off this monstrosity: Hair piled on top of her head in plaits so it looks like a bad fringe. Black dress in a very uncomfortable fabric which actually may explain the face. And no eyebrows. Tyra, if you're going to continually dish out judgement on your show, then you at least have to perform in real life, to us. You have to rise above them. As far as I'm concerned, you wouldn't have made it to the final 12 in this.


Best use of excess F's: Fake tan, Fabric, Fierce: Victoria Beckham

I know I'm going to get paid out for this, but I actually love her. Oh I know, I know. She's so fake. Fake fake fake fake. But she carries it so well! Look at the confidence beaming from her face! It's rather admirable.
I don't like her dress though. That train is just silly. Funny how it works on Kate Moss and fails so miserably on poor Vic. Just goes to show the difference between a true style queen and one who's had to claw her way in. Anyway, let's talk about something positive, like the muscles in her thigh. Shock horror! Is Vicky working out? Or better, eating?


Most likely to suck your blood after midnight: Rachel Gilbert

I have a girl crush on Rachel Gilbert. I think it's 'cause she's so tiny and cute and wears the best things in the world. This is no exception. The ruching works perfectly in tune with her body and even (gasp) gives her a tiny bit of cleavage. Hayden must be over the moon. She always does it so well: box clutch, snakeskin platforms, that demure look on her face.
The only thing am not besotted with in this picture? Her hair. It hangs on her face when it could be doing something fabulous, and is waaaaay too dark this time round. Unless she's starring in the next Twilight installment, New Moon, as a vampiric temptress. In which case, we forgive you Rach.



Pics thanks to Just Jared, the only site who got the shots up super quickly!

Costume Institute Gala Best & Worst dressed

Oooh! So much glorious, gorgeous fashion! My favourite event all year is the Costume Institute Gala at the Met ... it's like the Fashion Oscars. Much more interesting than the real thing 'cause we get to see style icons dressed up in their finest. Love love love. Nobody really put a foot wrong. Unless you count Madonna who bombed MASSIVELY. Like she was attached to a grenade, held her nose and divebombed. Here's round one:


Best 50's-Style Glamour: Kate Bosworth

Isn't she just the embodiment of old school Hollywood Glamour? She looks like Lana Turner. The long dress meshed with that fine fine lace is so elegant, and she hasn't ruined it with a clunky heel. Finger wave hair, clean face and red lip is just so striking on a blonde. Final touch, as always on a lady? Diamonds dahling, diamonds.


Most likely to be having a mid-life crisis: Madonna

Memo to Madge:
No sweetie, you're not a 19-year-old catwalk model. You can't get away with the bunny ears like the girls on the Louis Vuitton runway a month ago, especially in green and not light pink as they were meant to be. You also can't wear those thigh high boots, you're just not tall enough. If short girls want to wear thigh high boots they need to be sleek, stuck to the leg like a stocking. Not stocky boots, you got it wrong, stocking boots. Let's not discuss the dress shall we? I'm just not a fan of the ruching and big bubble. It might look good in an ad Madonna, but this is real life. Remember that? Real life? It's where the rest of us live.
Oh, I get it, I get it! You're on the way to an Alice in Wonderland party! Oh Madge why didn't you just say so! Sorry darls, go forth, drink tea with the Queen of Hearts and say hi to the Cheshire Cat for me.
Mwa! Mwa!


Best sexily dressed woman EVER: Blake Lively

So, before this picture, I used to be a Blair fan. More than that, I didn't even like Serena. But oh! How the tables have turned. Have you ever seen sex poured into a dress and walked onto a red carpet more so than beautiful Blake here? The shoulder, the breasts, the leg, the hair, that skin. She is woman. Hear her roar.


Most likely to be an Old Maid: Mary Kate Olsen

I don't know what's going on with MK. Her style lately is more up and down than a celebrity on crack. Whoops, did I just say that? Moving on. This outfit is ... horrendous, no? The colour's nice. That's about it. It's flouncy and layered with lace, metallic lace, metallic fabric, more fabric and looks like it's about to swallow her whole - look, it's already encroaching on her shoulders. Run Mary Kate, run, you're about to be eaten alive by your dress! Either that or be made to wash floors with a bucket and a scrubbing brush.

Most likely to use legs as weapons: Gisele

Dear God,
When I come back, you know after I've died, I'd like to see what it feels like to look like Gisele for a day. You know, to be all tawny and golden, from top to toe. To wear the most fabulous blue sequinned mini dress and accessorise with ankle boots that are really just fuck off out of this world and have sunkissed hair that doesn't even look 'done' but still looks seriously hot. Sorry God, didn't mean to swear.
thanks in advance


Most likely to be paranoid about her baby weight: Jessica Alba

Now, I don't think she has baby weight, I think she's one of the most beautiful women in the world and looks incredible. But I know Jessica Alba, I've done at least four stories on her. And she's got a weird, weird body complex, she freely admits to having had an eating disorder and being an exercise fanatic. The body image paranoia is the only explanation I have for her latest penchant: wearing beautiful dresses and then ruining them with opaque tights. Why? Why would she do this? The dress is hot, her hair and face are hot. But her legs look dumpy. If they were bare and body glossed, she'd be a complete picture instead of inducing the urge for me to chop this shot off at the waist. It would do us all a service and cut out that red clutch too.

Most likely to be unfairly attached to Justin Timberlake: Jessica Biel

I'm not sure what I hate more about this: Her overly bronzed skin, the way she's clutching onto JT, her uneven hemline, or the way the excess fabric really does make her look like she's got a shelf ass. Plus, didn't Cameron Diaz wear a dress like this (only about a bazillion times better) but in dark purple to this exact same event about two years ago? And did she make him wear glasses or is he going through one of those "I'm an artist and I'm intelligent" phase? Yawn. Next please!

Thanks to Just Jared for pics, the only site to have posted so quickly! More to come!

Wedding Dress Wannabees

There's something about a long white gown that spell wedding frock to me. These dresses are no doubt gorgeous, but I would have chosen a different colour ...

Absolutely stunning, love the fabric, fits her perfectly and she's accessorised with incredible style - the necklace, the hair, the clutch all working in tandem. But I can't help think that she really does look like the doll on top of the wedding cake, especially standing next to Gyton.

How beautiful would this be for a bride! The detailing, the fabric, the way it falls so nicely. Get thee to a frock shop.

Not a traditional wedding dress but it would work just the same. Fussy fabric but a simple style.


I wouldn't wear this unless I was really tall, or possibly pregnant. If either of those, this could be the wedding dress for you! Natalie probably should've gone for something that didn't swamp her petite frame.


Now here's a feat ... a long white dress that had no bridal connotations whatsoever. Nice one Jodie. Ladies at home, I would only wear this if supremely confident and willing to fend off men at your wedding!

Logies Best/Worst Dressed

Most likely to have her circulation cut off: Kate Ritchie
Katie, I'm not quite sure where your head was at this year I think you may have gotten a little cocky and didn't think you needed a stylist. Guess what? You did. This dress does nothing for your body ... it's as though you've squeezed it into something too tight and need to breathe in a lot to help it fall correctly, which it still doesn't. And you're not a big girl, it's purely the dress's fault. Let's not even talk about that cut-out long sleeve. I'd prefer to pretend it wasn't there. I'm sure you won't mind. I'm sure by the end of the night you were wishing it wasn't there either ...


Most likely to get attacked by her dress: Ruby Rose
It's almost like she doesn't know how to do black tie. In fact, we should probably cut her some slack 'cause this is the first time she's ever done black tie! Still, it's no excuse for this monstrosity. I'll forgive the feathers that look like they're creeping up her dress like some kind of sprouting, diseased animal, but I can't get past the ill-fitting bodice and that sweetheart neckline and those short sleeves. Can I repeat that? SHORT SLEEVES. On an evening gown. Just never, ever, ever have I seen such a thing. She could have salvaged the dress if she took to it with a pair of scissors and chopped off those sleeves but unfortunately she walked the red carpet like this. Ruby, I beg you, stick to leather and mini skirts, you know how to wear those like nobody else!


Most likely to go home at midnight: Sonia Kruger
Have you met Kerrie-Anne Kennerley, sorry Sonia Kruger? Or is it Princess Sonia now? Oh, I know who you are! Stick a wand in your hand and you're Glenda the Good Witch! There is just far too much going on with this dress. Maybe if it wasn't this prissy blue (such a bridesmaid's colour) if she'd gone for chic navy, grey or black she might have gotten away with it.


Most surprisingly stylish: Susie Wilks
Oh Susie Wilks, who knew you had this fashion goddess in you? Gorgeous fabric, fabulous cut, incredibly cool colour. The epitomy of chic. You're winning in every way.


Most likely to get eaten: Margot Robbie from Neighbours.
I'm sorry dear, nobody told me licorice allsorts were back in fashion, get out of my way! (elbowing kerfuffle ensues at Darrell Lea counter).
Now I know you're probably just having fun. You're young, this is your first Logies, you thought you'd try something interesting ... yada yada yada. But this picture is going to follow you around for years, do you realise? Every time someone prints your name, they'll use this pic to illustrate because, well, it's just too tempting not to!



Most likely to pop that button: Andy Lee
This is what happens when a man wears a too-skinny tie. It makes him look oversized and bloated, when clearly, he's not. Look how nice Hamish comes across, all dapper and distinguished, while Andy looks like he's been stuffing in the pot roast like there's no tomorrow. Dear me Andy, I know Megan's away, but I didn't think men knew what comfort eating was!


Absolute, unequivocal winner: Sarah Murdoch

Sarah Murdoch once again shows the rest of us mere mortals what a spot of good tailoring and simple design can do. The one shoulder, the long column, the belted waist ... all just work perfectly together to create one lean body of lush gorgeousness. She knows you don't need a taffeta train to create an entrance. Oh and her husband looks hot too.


Most likely to be sawn in two: Jennifer Hawkins
Much like her dress, I'm a little bit divided on Jen. Sure, she looks beautiful, but the girl could wear a hesham sack and look beautiful. It's more about whether this dress is Logies appropriate. Is it? The bottom is - look how gracefully it falls over her legs to the ground just so. But the top half could realistically be underwear. Corsetry is fabulous when going to a party, but for the Logies, probably not. And that necklace. It looks like the stones all just fell on her chest and landed there. And she's only wearing it to dress the whole outfit up. Which, if the outfit stood on it's own like it was meant to, could stand up for itself. I do like her hair. Fresh, modern and not the least bit mumsy, unlike those Myer campaigns she has to put herself through.

It's about the Scarf

Loving this simple look from one of my faves, Rachel Bilson (and one that we can all wear this weekend now that it's suddenly so damned cold!). She's managed to turn a grey turtleneck and jeans into a fabulously stylish outfit. It's easy, just add Chanel dah-lings.

Oh. Sorry. Right. Can't afford Chanel atm.

Then just grab a printed scarf and twirl loosely around neck. The only prerequisite is that it must be in a neutral colour - that's why this look is working so well. The grey print on the scarf makes it stand out without being flashy, there's no try-hard edge to this look. It just screams ultra cool. Add a black felt hat and you're only one step away from getting a free ticket to Tinseltown.

CZJ as Susan Boyle!

Yes, this is Catherine Zeta-Jones as Susan Boyle.
Thank you D-Listed for posting this picture!
According to the Daily Mail in the UK, CZJ is said to be all but signed to play the reality singing star in a movie of her life. Apparently she's trying to buy the movie rights to Susan's life story ... in an "underdog triumphs over bullies" kind of way.

What do you think? Should Catherine get to play Susan in a movie? Is this what she'd look like?

The supermodel chat

Style.com put all kinds of supermodels around a table to see what gems they came up with about the modelling industry and see what wisdom women like Lauren Hutton could impart on the younger girls
Apparently there was a lot of awkwardness between Naomi Campbell and Paulina Porizkova ...

Paulina: But it's not the tight cliques anymore, which in a way is good, too, because if you were not part of the clique you were definitely left out.
Naomi: I don't think so. I loved being part of a group of girls. It was so supportive.
Paulina: You were in a clique, Naomi

... this doesn't appear on the video but according to sources, definitely happened, and as Jezebel reports, apparently the video is edited so the two don't talk much at all.

It seems Paulina is rather vocal, talking to young sensation Karlie Kloss about starting in the modelling world too young, 15 or 16, and Lauren Hutton saying how bad it is none of the young girls take holidays. Check it out for yourself.

Julia and the 60 watt smile

It's kind of weird hearing this come from me ... but I think Julia Roberts needs her teeth bleached.

GASP! I can't believe I just said that.

It's her own fault. She must have had them bleached long ago, in her mega-famous phase, so I'm used to seeing that utterly perfect smile beam at me supersized from the cinema screen. And now that the bleach has worn off, well, she doesn't quite look like her bazillion-dollar self, does she?

Sorry Jules, I usually hate celebs having work and really, good on you for NOT doing the upkeep. Here's to celebrities keeping it real.

On that note ... did anyone watch the 60 minutes story with Dr Frederic Brandt? The renowned dermatologist with his own skincare line that I've always thought to be a great doctor and I find out on Sunday night that he looks like a freak!

Cheek implants, Botoxed to the hilt, Restylane in lips ... all of it done so OTT it's horrendous. And apparently he's Madonna's doctor. Eeeew. I wouldn't let him touch my face with a 10 foot pole, let alone a pointed needle.


And this is a few years ago, when he's powdered and made up for the camera. Now he looks even worse.

Lauren does David Letterman. Not like that.

Note well: I'm not a massive fan of Lauren Conrad. I mean, I like her, and I love The Hills. I'm a rather vocal supporter of Lauren's feud with Heidi (cause Heidi fricking deserves it!). But you know, I can take Lauren or leave her, it's not like she's a talented actress or anything.

Which is why it's so surprising that I'm finding myself a wee bit envious of the dress she wore on the David Letterman show. It's gold, but not too gold, more a cool dull metallic and screams "I left my hit TV show in it's prime and I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks!"

Good on her. That's what I did with my job and while it takes guts, the pay off for taking control and having a real life is really worth it at the end of the day.

Can we talk about her hair for a second? It's seriously the first time anyone's ever gotten extensions right.

Maybe leaving The Hills is the beginning of Lauren Conrad, actual fashion person, rather than the pretend fashion person she's been up until now.

And if that's the case, I'm all for it. Even if her leaving will spell the end of The Hills and I'll be forced to watch bitchface Kristen Cavilleri prance about like she owns The Hills with Speidi. Vomit.

Bring on The City!