Costume Institute Gala Best & Worst dressed

Oooh! So much glorious, gorgeous fashion! My favourite event all year is the Costume Institute Gala at the Met ... it's like the Fashion Oscars. Much more interesting than the real thing 'cause we get to see style icons dressed up in their finest. Love love love. Nobody really put a foot wrong. Unless you count Madonna who bombed MASSIVELY. Like she was attached to a grenade, held her nose and divebombed. Here's round one:


Best 50's-Style Glamour: Kate Bosworth

Isn't she just the embodiment of old school Hollywood Glamour? She looks like Lana Turner. The long dress meshed with that fine fine lace is so elegant, and she hasn't ruined it with a clunky heel. Finger wave hair, clean face and red lip is just so striking on a blonde. Final touch, as always on a lady? Diamonds dahling, diamonds.


Most likely to be having a mid-life crisis: Madonna

Memo to Madge:
No sweetie, you're not a 19-year-old catwalk model. You can't get away with the bunny ears like the girls on the Louis Vuitton runway a month ago, especially in green and not light pink as they were meant to be. You also can't wear those thigh high boots, you're just not tall enough. If short girls want to wear thigh high boots they need to be sleek, stuck to the leg like a stocking. Not stocky boots, you got it wrong, stocking boots. Let's not discuss the dress shall we? I'm just not a fan of the ruching and big bubble. It might look good in an ad Madonna, but this is real life. Remember that? Real life? It's where the rest of us live.
Oh, I get it, I get it! You're on the way to an Alice in Wonderland party! Oh Madge why didn't you just say so! Sorry darls, go forth, drink tea with the Queen of Hearts and say hi to the Cheshire Cat for me.
Mwa! Mwa!


Best sexily dressed woman EVER: Blake Lively

So, before this picture, I used to be a Blair fan. More than that, I didn't even like Serena. But oh! How the tables have turned. Have you ever seen sex poured into a dress and walked onto a red carpet more so than beautiful Blake here? The shoulder, the breasts, the leg, the hair, that skin. She is woman. Hear her roar.


Most likely to be an Old Maid: Mary Kate Olsen

I don't know what's going on with MK. Her style lately is more up and down than a celebrity on crack. Whoops, did I just say that? Moving on. This outfit is ... horrendous, no? The colour's nice. That's about it. It's flouncy and layered with lace, metallic lace, metallic fabric, more fabric and looks like it's about to swallow her whole - look, it's already encroaching on her shoulders. Run Mary Kate, run, you're about to be eaten alive by your dress! Either that or be made to wash floors with a bucket and a scrubbing brush.

Most likely to use legs as weapons: Gisele

Dear God,
When I come back, you know after I've died, I'd like to see what it feels like to look like Gisele for a day. You know, to be all tawny and golden, from top to toe. To wear the most fabulous blue sequinned mini dress and accessorise with ankle boots that are really just fuck off out of this world and have sunkissed hair that doesn't even look 'done' but still looks seriously hot. Sorry God, didn't mean to swear.
thanks in advance


Most likely to be paranoid about her baby weight: Jessica Alba

Now, I don't think she has baby weight, I think she's one of the most beautiful women in the world and looks incredible. But I know Jessica Alba, I've done at least four stories on her. And she's got a weird, weird body complex, she freely admits to having had an eating disorder and being an exercise fanatic. The body image paranoia is the only explanation I have for her latest penchant: wearing beautiful dresses and then ruining them with opaque tights. Why? Why would she do this? The dress is hot, her hair and face are hot. But her legs look dumpy. If they were bare and body glossed, she'd be a complete picture instead of inducing the urge for me to chop this shot off at the waist. It would do us all a service and cut out that red clutch too.

Most likely to be unfairly attached to Justin Timberlake: Jessica Biel

I'm not sure what I hate more about this: Her overly bronzed skin, the way she's clutching onto JT, her uneven hemline, or the way the excess fabric really does make her look like she's got a shelf ass. Plus, didn't Cameron Diaz wear a dress like this (only about a bazillion times better) but in dark purple to this exact same event about two years ago? And did she make him wear glasses or is he going through one of those "I'm an artist and I'm intelligent" phase? Yawn. Next please!

Thanks to Just Jared for pics, the only site to have posted so quickly! More to come!