I'm not sure what planet Keira Knightley's living on, are you? Perhaps it's called Hair in Face to Hide Big Jaw Planet. Or maybe Dowdy Nanna Planet. Possibly even, I'm Not Sure Why My Hair Is This Dark And Hanging Like A Dense, Lank Curtain Planet.
Whichever it is, Keira's hair is Bad. Bad with a capital B. Bad like Michael Jackson's song Bad. Bad like getting caught in the rain on the way to a date Bad. Bad like finding a worm in your apple Bad. She's embracing hair that does absolutely nothing for her.
I'd excuse Keira if, like the rest of us, she had to do her own hair. In fact, this would probably be a good hair day for me. But here's the thing. She doesn't have to do her own hair. She's a celebrity. She has a team of people to do her hair for her. That's the weird thing - she actually asked for this style. Out of all the fabulous do's she could have had in the world, this is what she chose. And she seems to love it, she's been sporting it for a while now.
I had to say something. Keira, if you're reading this, leave the planet darling. Get on a spaceship and fly as far as you can until you hit Planet Earth. That's where we are.
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