Voiceover: Everyone put your hands together, it's a big round of applause this Thursday, April 9, for Jennifer Love Hewitt [cue audience clapping here].
[Jennifer Love Hewitt stands centre blog and takes a bow].
Voiceover: Today, ladies and gentlemen, is a big day for JLH. Yes, youuuuuuuu guessed it! It's the first day she's gotten her outfit right! Ever! Look how pretty she is.
[cue "awww" from audience, someone wolf whistles, JLH blushes]
Voiceover: She's wearing a simple black dress that emphasizes those curvaceous bosoms, makes her shoulders and decolletage look fabulous and the bubble skirt really suits her body - they hide a hippy hip, if you know what I mean.
[JLH shoots dirty look at screen where voice is coming from. Voice quickly moves on]
Voiceover: And that hair! Look at that hair! If I'm not mistaken folks, she's outdone Gisele! Out Victoria'd the Victoria's Secret models! There's volume, great colour, length, style! The four pillars of sexy hair. Another round of applause ladies and gents, for Jennifer has finally figured out, after 35, sorry 30, sorry 28 years, how to dress like a WOman!
[applause fades out as Jennifer leaves blog]
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